HAPPY NEW YEAR!

December 31, 2016 Signe Baumane

When a Rooster sings in the darkest hour of a night all unfriendly fiends scatter. Lets sing together to clear the way for the New Year! Happy 2017!

Finding a Perfect Beagle

December 27, 2016 Signe Baumane

On the day 5 of my Holiday Special offer to draw your favorite animal if you name one favorite thing about the animal I got a request to draw a beagle. The person's favorite thing about beagles was:

"Beagles have an understated, dignified quality about them (well, what I mean is that mine did). They’re not always serious, but they are dedicated."

A beagle and dignity. Makes sense. But how to show it in one picture? Hmm....

And so the race to find the perfect beagle begun. First I had to check if I remembered how a real beagle looked. Googled it.

Then tried to draw a beagle from memory.

After clarifying an image of a beagle I had to decide how to draw dignity. This person really admires dignity in beagles. It says a lot about the man. Lets put them all together - the man, the dog and dignity. I made a quick sketch.

The beagles are on the lookout - like proud captains of a huge ship they look for approaching dangers to divert them with a bark or bite.

Eh... I can do better. Lets make the beagle a real captain facing real dangers.

Although Beagle looks dignified now, after his ship butts heads with the iceberg, he may not. Scrap this idea. 2016 was a bad enough year for all of us, no need to remind people how vulnerable this dignity thing is. Beagle must lead the ship to a better place, or to find something that's missing. Maybe tracking a trail lost in an ocean of smells? A beagle can lead a beagle. Lets try that.

Lets see if there is a better angle to look at Beagle leading a beagle.

Yes, this beagle is right on the nose! But wait!... beagles have beautiful ears. So warm and fuzzy one could eat them. Enwrapping ears.

I have to remind myself that the thing about beagle I was asked to draw was dignity. What could be more dignified than giving a speech at United Nations?

The problem with giving a speech at United Nations is with all those people wanting to know you afterwards.

And, God forbid, they may want to bring you to strange rooms and surround you.

You try to run away but they run after you.

Even if you escape, they still send you presents.

And more presents.

Only after they leave, Beagle is able to take a good look at people.

But it is obvious Beagle has something that people are drawn to.

Finally Beagle was able to shake people off. But life wasn't the same without them. He had to find them again.

People didn't like that Beagle lost them.

To please them Beagle does whatever people ask.

Beagle soon gets tired of the chore to feed people. He puts them in a biodegradable bag with marinade and puts a weight on top.

Beagle steeps people in the marinade for three days then puts them into a pot.

He gives the pot to charity. But life without people is indeed not much fun.

So Beagle finds some seeds people left on the floor and plants them in terracotta pots. But even planted in small pots people still have their own mind.

Wait, where was I? I had to make a drawing of a beagle with dignity. Stop fooling around!

I think I had a perfect Beagle at some point but I lost him in the process.

Merry Winter Solstice!

December 21, 2016 Signe Baumane

Sitting in the darkest night of the year I rake my brain and cannot remember last time when I have felt such an absolute despair and desolation. Before, when I felt rejected by a lover or a film festival or a friend, the rejection was painful but it felt like an isolated event. I thought that the larger world was still behind me, the Universe still had a provision of love in store for me. I had hope.

But where do you find hope when Universe seems to be smashing in pieces everything you love and cherish, turning against the very core of your Being?

I look and see that hope is still there - at my core. It is just more fragile and more secluded. So I made a few MERRY SOLSTICE cards to send you my Love in hopes to connect with you. Lets unite with the cores of our hearts: I am you and you are me. If you love me back, please let me know.

Thank you.

Trying to remember where I put my sunshine boots

The Carpenter was born on the night between December 24th and 25th, when the longest night started to lose its power.

Lets all be carpenters and united together carve holes in the walls.

Illustrating Process

December 16, 2016 Signe Baumane

On December 5th I announced my HOLIDAY SPECIAL: until December 20th anyone for $100 (b&w) or $150 (color) can ask me to draw a picture of their favorite animal if they include one thing they like the best about that animal. There were 3 reasons I wanted to do it : 1) because I am an independent I rarely have to follow other people's guidelines/ideas and this is a good exercise to stay in shape 2) to engage with people who like my work - it's fun to give an opportunity to another person to be an art editor and order me around 3) to raise a little bit of money to be able to feed myself (if you saw my bank account you'd weep).

I got several orders and they were fun to do. But one, although seemingly an easy task, took quite a effort to develop. I wanted to share with you my process.

The original request I received was this: My favorite animal is an octopus, and my favorite thing about them is the way they can do many fun things at once.

- Hmm... - I thought. - Many things at once.

So I sat down and sketched out my first idea on my first impulse:

Look, the octopus is getting her nails done while sleeping, while horsing around, being an angel, washing floors (it can be a fun activity if you treat it as a form of exercise), singing Christmas carols, picking a nose and stuffing a mouth with a cupcake!

The problem with this idea was that it required a lot of small details that may have gotten lost in its acrylic rendering (unless I made the picture really large, but it would be time and cost prohibitive to make it for only $150). So I decided to develop it in larger strokes:

The octopus is getting her leg massaged while checking Facebook on her iPhone and picking nose. But no, this didn't sit with me either: how I will fit the 5 other activities into this picture? Ah... What else is there for an octopus and his legs? Wait, what if the octopus' legs got into things?

The octopus is getting his nails done while his 6 other legs are creeping under women's skirts. But no, this disturbingly reminded me of our President Elect's behavior ("He was like an octopus groping me") so I scrapped that idea. Now: what if instead creeping inside the octopus' legs get outside?

Yeah, but once outside what is there for the legs to do? They kind of aimlessly look around for fun. Eh...

There is very little time to develop ideas in my busy studio, so I took my notebook with me to a screening and started to work on octopus ideas on subway. While drawing feverishly in the crowded subway car, a young woman started to stare at me, then she got up and stood close by to see what I am doing. It made my feel uncomfortable, but I was under a deadline so I continued on drawing.

- Can I ask you a question? - she finally addressed me.

- Go ahead.

- You seem to be so sure when you draw. How do you do it?

- Don't think I am so sure. In fact, I am totally unsure of myself when I draw, especially when people watch me.

- I am an artist myself and I am so timid compared to how you treat your lines.

- I don't care for the lines, I only care for the idea. And I am not afraid to make a mistake. In my world there are no mistakes, only discoveries.

- But...

Unfortunately it was my stop and I had to get off, leaving the young artist and her question in the limbo of half-answers. Good news: I had a couple of new ideas for what the octopuses legs could do in my notebook.

Octopus is a master puppeteer in a puppet theater! But wait, the request was for diverse fun the octopus is having simultaneously. Think some more. Woudln't it be fun to have octopus to be part of a human. Like, a human head with 8 legs?

Hmm... Maybe not. What if the octopus from behind the human was making him to do all kinds of fun and stupid things?

But there is not much space on the letter-size paper to show those fun and stupid things.

What if the octopus was sitting at a table like Jesus at the Last Supper but instead of Apostles he had his legs to talk to?

What if the octopus was like Jesus - "I have become all things to all people" (from Corinthians 9:22)?

I like that like Jesus the Octopus can be all things at the same time. Instead depicting simultaneous actions (sleeping, singing, horsing around) shift the focus on being - being all creatures at the same time. But who are all those creatures? I miss some animals here. What else is there? Tiger? Fish? Who has flippers?

Now I was ready to start to finalize the sketch.

And to add color.

Ready to send it off!

Best of New York Animation: 3 Programs

December 4, 2016 Signe Baumane

Program 1

Work from ORIGINAL Avoid Eye Contact Collection.

I selected the following 14 films from the original Avoid Eye Contact two collections based on my personal bias. But I was also intrigued with the surreal approach of how those films depicted space - be that a city, bar, bedroom, poolside, Moon or, well... Space. There is something about New York City that makes one space-aware. Especially us, animators.

1. "Bar Fight" (4:15) by Christy Karacas

2. “One of Those Days” (6:30) by Bill Plympton

3. “Drink” (4:27) by Pat Smith

4. “Tongues and Taxis” (7:32) by Michael Overbeck

5. "Sub!" (8:30) by Jesse Schmall

6. "Moonraker" (3:00) by Fran Krause

7. “Space War” (3:15) by Christy Karacas

8. “Frog” (3:52) by Chris Conforti

9. “A Little Routine” (7:13) by George Griffin

10. “The Stork” (4:30) by Nina Paley

11. “Roof Sex” (1:09) by PES

13. "Love Story" (3:30) by Signe Baumane

14. “Bathtime in Clerkenwell” (3:03) by Aleksey Budovsky

Avoid Eye Contact (New Films): Program 2

Still from "The Cow Who Wanted to Be a Hamburger"

The first few films of the Program 2 introduce audience to dreams and nightmares of the New Yorkers. It informs on the typical New Yorker's neurosis and fears. But the focus of the program is on how to solve the Eternal Puzzle of Love, Compassion and Empathy. It ends on the triumphant note of an indie animator's manifesto: do not become a piece of ground meat in entertainment/hamburger-making corporate machinery. Save your organic individuality.

1. "Christmas Day" 4:00 by Richard O'Connor

2. “Slow Wave” (3:28) by Andy Kennedy

3. “Concrete Jumble: Midtown Twist” (1:06) by Gary Leib

4. “The Lost Tribes of New York City” (3:00) by Carolyn and Andy London

5. “Something Left, Something Taken” (10:13) by Ru Kuwahata & Max Porter

6. "Video 69" 7:00 by Ingo Raschka

7. “Backwards” (4:17) by Aaron Hughes

8. “Blank on Blank: Ayn Rand on Love and Happiness” (4:30) by Pat Smith

9. "Hedgehug" (5:00) by Dan Pinto

10. “A Life With Asperger's” (4:09) by Jaime Ekkens

11. "Mirage" (9 min) bu YoungWoong Jang

12. "The Cow Who Wanted to Be a Hamburger" (6:00) by Bill Plympton

13. "Hunger Like a Wolf" (1:30) by Eun Ha Paek

Avoid Eye Contact (new films): Program 3

The conflict and war is the theme kicking off the Program 3. Do wars happen because someone is hungry or stupid? Or because one is just obsessed with winning? Unexpectedly, the New York female animators bring a fresh take on conflict - don't invade my personal space, she warns. The program continues on with major existential questions (what is sex? can you undo what you have done? what if you are only an empty bubble in a billion bubble's bubble wrap?). The closing statement is on impossible-to-live-with-this-sensitivity of an artist. We will live and we will continue to make films despite all the bleeding.

1. "Divers" (3:11) by Paris Mavroidis

2. “The Terrible Thing of Alpha 9!” (5:45) by Jake Armstrong

3. “Wandering Eye” (1:00) by Edwin Chavez

4. "Gastronomic Shark" (1 min) by Bill Plympton

5. “Too Many Crows” (4:00) by Morgan Miller

6. “The Stressful Adventures of Boxhead and Roundhead: Brothers in Arms” (4:24) by Eliot Cowan

7. "More Than Winning" (3:00) by Nick Fox Gieg

8. “My Kingdom” (5:55) by Debra Solomon

9. “Boobatary” (2:47) by Leah Shore

10. “Cee Cee's Bedtime Stories” (2:12) by Joy Buran + Noelle Melody

11. “Teat Beat of Sex: Episodes Job and Hair" (4 min) by Signe Baumane

12. “Command Z” (5:00) by Candy Kugel

13. "Fantaisie in Bubblewrap" (4:16) by Arthur Metcalf

14. “Fluidtoons” (3:32) by Brett Thompson

15. “Pangs” (1:43) by Wendy Cong Zhao

16. "Egg" (8:00) by Jack Wedge

17. "Down to the Bone" (4:20) by Peter Ahern

Avoid Eye Contact - Best of New York Animation in Krakow

December 1, 2016 Signe Baumane

Here're my New York Animation notes for Etiuda&Anima Festival catalogue:

It’s probably not an understatement to say that New York City has one of the most vibrant and thriving animation communities in the world. The reasons for this are multiple:

1. There used to be an amazing amount of animation jobs in the city (Nickelodeon, MTV, Little Airplane, Animation Collective, etc.) Perhaps not so much now, but animators stay here because –

2. We have a very excellent chapter of ASIFA-East that organizes screenings and meet-ups every month, and an annual festival of work from its members. When people see each other on monthly basis, it creates the sense of a community, involvement and support.

3. New York independent animators don’t compete with each other for funding (generally, the funding for arts or animation in the U.S. is scarce, so there is nothing to fight over) but instead we compete with each other over who will make a better film, we challenge each other and we support each other with advice, tips and animation tools.

4. There are at least five colleges in NYC that teach animation – so there are plenty of interns/apprentices for independent animators to employ which is a good reason to open an independent animation studio in New York. Also students have a lot of youthful enthusiasm for animation as a sophisticated form of self-expression. Enthusiasm is infectious.

5. New York City is a source of endless inspiration for stories. Also, because everybody in NYC is constantly busy and short on time, we New Yorkers value time more than anything. As a result, good sense of timing for NY animators becomes visceral. Timing is part of our minds, our bodies, and our essences. That’s why some of the best animated films from NY may not have perfect design or the most amazing concepts, but they have timing that will make you laugh or cringe, and you walk away thinking you just watched a perfect film.

6. We in New York have the beacon of independent animation – Bill Plympton. This beacon shows you the way to be an indie animator (create short films that connect with audiences and make a lot of them, consistently) but it also warns you not to come too close to the cliff, where the beacon stands on. It can ruin your life - to be an indie animator and consistently produce films you must give up on aspects of normal human life, like having friends, family and hobbies.

I don’t know any independent NYC animator who hasn’t looked at Bill and, at least once in their life, said, “That looks easy, I can do it.” And then lunged into making indie short films. But then they had to stop after a few years because they got married and/or had children and had to find a better way to pay the rent. No one else can do what Bill does (he is unique) but thanks to his example and our aspirations to be like him we have a lot of independent animated films made in New York.

For these reasons, the community of NYC animators is so tightly knit and supportive that one day (in 2004) a bunch of us got together and published a DVD of our work, called “Avoid Eye Contact”. It was so successful (2,000 DVDs sold in one year) that we released “Avoid Eye Contact” Volume 2 in 2005.

Since then, DVD’s have fallen out of fashion, and we animators/artists have proven yet again that we are more interested in making films than selling them. But the energy of cooperation and innovation is still there, because that is what New York City is about.

For Program 1, I selected 14 films that are my favorites from the two “Avoid Eye Contact” volumes. The films are perhaps on the older side (Plympton's “One of Those Days” is from 1988) but since animation doesn’t age like other films, they are still classic.

Programs 2 and 3 were put together exclusively for Etiuda&Anima and they consist of films never screened at Etuida&Anima. There are several things that are striking about the work for in those programs– first, a lot of these shorts take place in strange spaces, for example - “Terrible Alpha 9”(Jake Armstrong), “Pangs” (Wendy Cong Zhao), “Egg” (Jack Wedge), “Mirage” (Youngwoong Jang) and “Wandering Eye” (Edwin Chavez). It probably can be explained by New York City being a strange place with its own rules that are not immediately accessible to a newcomer and the city can seem like an alien planet at first. Note, “Wandering Eye” was hand drawn on index cards while the animator was commuting to school on subway.

To counter that, there are a couple of films that explain this strange place called New York – “Concrete Jumble” (Gary Leib) and “The Lost Tribes” (Andy and Carolyn London) - they give the audience a little bit of local history and context. Then there are films that are strongly, unapologetically female and even raunchy, like “Teat Beat of Sex” (Signe Baumane), “Boobatary” (Leah Shore), “Cee Cee’s Bedtime Stories” (Joy Buran and Noelle Melody) and “Everybody’s Pregnant” (Debra Solomon). Their unabashed revealing of the most private elements of a female life (body functions, having sex, being infertile, getting high or drunk) may come from the experiences of being part of the masses moving through the streets and mass transit of New York which erases your feeling that your privacy is sacred. You are just one of the 8 million humans living here, and everyone has the exact same problems as you do, so get over it and share your shame and private thoughts with everyone else. It’s only a stereotype that big cities alienate its residents from each other. New York does just the opposite - it connects people and teaches us to love other humans (you really can’t live in New York if you don’t love humans and their diversity).

And, of course, as in any place around the world, in New York, too, there are inevitably films made about universal themes like food (“Gastronomic Shark”, the Polish premiere of Bill Plympton’s short film) and aspirations for love (“Hedgehug” by Dan Pinto, “Video 69” by Ingo Raschka). Love is everywhere, even in New York.

The notorious neurosis of New Yorkers is depicted in “Something Left, Something Taken” (Ru Kuwahata and Max Porter)– and since the filmmakers in the film also make fun of themselves, it shows a very typical New York humor – the self-deprecating kind.

In the end, without the compassion and understanding of other human beings the life in New York would not be possible, and that’s what animated doc “A Life with Asperger’s” (Jaime Ekkens) is teaching us.

If you can’t come New York, then New York must come to you! These 3 programs are showing some of the best New York animated shorts created in the last 20 years. This is your chance to experience all the inner workings of the minds of New York and New Yorkers. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry and we hope you’ll leave the screening inspired to make a film of your own.

I'll post the whole list of the New York films screened at Etiuda&Anima tomorrow.

Post-Election Travel

November 30, 2016 Signe Baumane

Where do you go when the world around you is collapsing? You usually go to see your Mom in vague hopes to return to her womb and stay there until the bad weather blows itself out on its own.

So I packed 7 t-shirts and went to see my family in Latvia. They were happy to see me, dotting, fretting and cooking local delicacies for me. I ate elk meat sausages steeped in duck fat and when the family went to sleep, I stayed in the kitchen checking emails on my laptop and the panic inducing news about the president-elect forming his new cabinet.

But before long my secret was out.

- You used to make films, - my Dad said one morning. - Now all you do is read about politics.

- Why your laptop is open again? - my Sister asked at the second breakfast. - All those political news are making you sick.

- You know too much about politics! - my Mom shouted before lunch. - This does you no good. I can see clearly - it is an addiction. Stop it!

I cried and I argued that this was my vacation, that I also sometimes check business related emails and that social media is part of what I do as an artist. But more I cried and defended myself, more it became obvious to my family that I indeed had a big problem. They advised to fight the addiction. So I closed the laptop and didn't work on the Thanksgiving blog post I wanted to write.

They were right - all that crying I did in private during nights definitely was not healthy. Something inside me was falling apart to correctly reflect the falling apart world outside me.

Then I went to Poland, to Etiuda&Anima festival in Krakow.

It is a festival dedicated to juxtaposing animated films with live action and documentary etudes, with a special focus on students and their needs. I was at the festival in 2015, doing a presentation called "Autoportrait" where I had to draw and show my creative process in front of 120 people. A nerve-wracking experience because I am no good at drawing (especially not in front of other people!) but the festival liked it and invited me back with "Rocks In My Pockets". They also asked me to compile and present 3 programs of the best New York animated shorts.

So now I was in Poland, a country that a year before had similar election results as we just had in USA. Instantly, politics became the main subject of any conversation I had. I wanted to know how Polish people, especially women, cope under a very conservative government.

- The politicians are changing the laws, so that is very bad, - one person explained. - But on every day level, the institutions and organizations like universities, festivals, support groups etc are still there, so you don't run into black holes of cultural destruction.

- Did you participate in the women's protests in early October? - I asked a young festival volunteer. The Black Monday had inspired me and gave me a hope that we can do something if important laws we care about are going under an axe.

- You bet I did! - she said. - I don't like abortions but banning them is not a solution, so I had to join the protest. And we won!

- The women won the Black Monday! - I told to a levelheaded projectionist. - So we, people, have power.

- Yes, but it was only one law, - he said glumly. - The government is repealing 100 laws a day and there is nothing we can do. Can't protest every day.

Nearly every screening at the festival was packed and films were excellent. The Best of New York Animation program had a great audience, too. In solidarity with Polish women I wore black each day at the festival. Maybe one day we'll need Polish women to show solidarity with us. What would be the color of our protest?

Presenting Best of New York Animation program at Etiuda&Anima

Surprisingly, a lot of people showed up for "Rocks In My Pockets" screening.

Crowd gathers at Kijów Centrum cinema before "Rocks In My Pockets" screening — Crowd gathers at **Kijów Centrum** cinema before "Rocks In My Pockets" screening

I was pleased, but also stressed out. What if those nice people hate the film?

- Why are you here? - I ask "Rocks In My Pockets" audience. - Why do you want to see a funny film about depression? Don't you have better things to do?

We, as a society, are only as good as our artists who challenge us, train us to think critically. The moment artists stop to cry at nights about election results and stop caring about something other than their own success and creature comforts, we are screwed.

But we also need festivals like Etiuda&Anima that are crucial meeting points between artists and audience. It probably works in little steps, too small to see from Space, but it is good to know it is there.

THANK YOU, Etiuda&Anima, for your work!

Post-Election Question: Back to Work - Why?

November 17, 2016 Signe Baumane

I don't know about you, but when I see the free newspaper called amNY I pick it up. First and foremost, it has a really good horoscopes column. I use it as my practical guide for daily activities. How could you not obey an advise such as: "Leo, everybody around you, including this horoscope, has a bullshit opinion on what you should do next. But stick to your own plan of action and you will arrive to the correct destination". I always end up in my studio, working.

The other thing about amNY is that is it made of paper really suitable for paper mache. In regards to this the amNY is my secret gold mine. Now, the question is - what do you make out of this paper?

"The Marriage Project", my new feature film about one woman's journey through her marriages both real and imagined told with the help of Neuroscience and Mythology Sirens, needs a sample footage to show to potential investors and donors. To make it happen I have to make bunch of props and sets. I started with a pattern cut out of paper, like this:

Then I added layers and layers of soaked in glue AM paper. It was really heartbreaking, because each AM paper contained old news about 2016 presidential campaign and by this time we all knew who won and I was not happy. In fact, I was outraged, angry, afraid, worried and in a full go-to-battle mode. Opening the paper's page, putting it on the table and caressing the pictures of the 2 candidates with my dripping in glue hands inevitably triggered the feelings of resentment and resistance every time. Then I would tear the paper in strips and put them on the paper mache coat, like this:

Then I covered the paper layers with black paint:

And finally, the layer of pink paint:

Maybe it is therapeutic to relive trauma over and over again and then cover it with color and joy. But I am wary of normalizing the new Executive Branch of extremists. Is going back to my work normalizing it?

I also struggle to work when I compare the scope of the disaster in front of us with the ineffectuality of my own teeny toothless existence. Is it really prudent to continue to work on a little film about a woman who is trying to define herself and her gender in the world? Does it matter - the world is about to end?

Post Elections

November 14, 2016 Signe Baumane

Now that we know how it all played out I keep thinking of the growing urgency me and my canvassing partner had when knocking on 197 doors on Election Day. It seemed oddly familiar, almost like a dark fairy tale.

Knock... Knock... Knock...

- Yes?

- Have you voted today?

- Nah. I saw the polls had long lines.

- It is very important that you vote today, please make sure you go.

- She is going to win anyway.

- It is not that certain. She may lose Pennsylvania by 6 votes and you don't want to be one of them.

- No one I know is voting.

- Please go and vote.

- I'll see how I feel in 15 minutes.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

- You Hillary people?

- Yes.

- Go away. I am not voting this time. I don't want to be responsible for anything of what any of them do when elected.

Knock knock knock.

- Don't you see my t-shirt? I am a Bernie supporter. Your candidate is a criminal.

- If Trump gets elected you can say goodbye to gay marriage and reproductive rights.

- I don't care.

- What if you can't get birth control pills anymore?

- I do not care! Get off my porch!

Knock knock knock!!

- Why are you people bothering me?

- We just...

- You call me, you knock on my doors! I can't rest!

- This is the most important election of our times.

- I won't stand for this major invasion of my privacy! You are working against your candidate! Too many knocks! Too many calls! Leave me alone!

Slam!

Knockknockknockknock!!!

- Have you voted today?

- Oh darling, but I have been to prison.

- It doesn't matter. By Pennsylvania law you still have the right to vote.

- They turned me away today, said I cannot vote.

- It's wrong. Call this number, straighten it out. Please do it soon. Polls close in 45 minutes.

- I don't know if I'll have time, my mother is sick and I need to take care of her.

On the 156th knock I felt like that rooster who kept shouting alarm but a thick fog raised from the bog and drowned his calls and ability to see clearly.

On the bus, on our way back to New York, the news came that Hillary lost Pennsylvania. My first thought was: This is the end of my love affair with America. But a millisecond later I realized that no, this was not a love affair. This is a marriage, a commitment I am obliged to honor.

But it now seems like a marriage to a person who has Alzheimer's - do they still remember you and your precious love relationship? Can they respond to your pleas for affection?

Worried Eye: Another Failure

November 1, 2016 Signe Baumane

"Worried Eye" is the last of my 4 strange shorts that I failed to make into one nice longer short.

It is only 9 seconds long and I wish I had more time and money to expand the idea into 9 minute film. But maybe some ideas deserve to die this miserable death of dissection so that there is space at film festivals for other people's better ideas?

I am very worried and this keeps me up at night. If I keep my eye looking out for me while I sleep maybe I can catch a wink?